Posted by
Keith Arnold on Thursday, October 09, 2008 11:09:15 PM
When you read the words "soulless political tools," you probably think of Obama's minions out knocking on your front door, the members of the Young Socialist Brigade with their "No Blood For Oil" and "Impeach Karl Rove" signs every Friday night at the corner of Main and Garfield, or commenters at Daily Kos or Huffington Post. I know I do. But today, I'm giving a pass to the young and the senseless, and I'm going to instead take a swing at my personal pet peeve of this election cycle: robodialers.
If your reaction to robodialers is that they're the very first hint that there really is a Skynet and it's about to become sentient, you're probably not far wrong. For an average cost of less than five copper cents per victim, a campaign can dial every number in the local calling zone in the middle of dinner and annoy every single one of them. They come with the latest technology known to boiler-room telemarketers: smart software that detects when the line is answered, distinguishes between a live human and a recording device, and even knows when it's been hung up on. And unlike human telemarketers that you can torture and mess with, robodialers are immune to my games and petty vengeance. They can - and do, oddly enough - completely ignore you, even as they try to get you to hang on to every word, sometimes for minutes on end.
For the record, I totally despise robodialers. They are soulless. They are inhuman. They are impersonal. If I haven't already decided which candidate in a particular race will get my vote, all it takes is one robocall, and I'm firmly in the camp of their opponent. I may have settled all my picks for national and state offices, but suppose there's a race for Municipal Court Judge 3 between Fran Peachfuzz and Pat Harbinger, and I know nothing about either beyond a couple of evenly-distributed lawn signs that I see between home and the freeway (c'mon, admit it - what do you know about these minor races, huh?). Then the phone rings right in the middle of Bohemian Idol or the premier episode of Forensic Lab Rat: Des Moines, and when you pick it up, you hear the scripted voice: "Hello-this-call-is-on-behalf-of-Peachfuzz-for-Judge. Peachfuzz-is-tough-but-fair-and-lives-in-the-community..." Just as your blood pressure goes up about fifteen points, you think to yourself: Harbinger just got my vote...
Honestly - is there anyone who actually finds robocalls persuasive? Is there anyone in creation who changed their intended vote as a result of an impersonal recorded telephone call? And if there is, why are they trusted with a vote?
I was the first on my block to get onto the National Do Not Call Registry. Unfortunately, it doesn't apply to political calls. I'm also on the opt-out list for the credit bureaus. This really needs to be expanded into a National Just-Leave-Me-The-Heck-Alone Registry. Here are some things you can do:
(1) There's a new National Political Do Not Contact Registry at http://www.stoppoliticalcalls.org. Sign up. I did.
(2) Live in California, like me? Did you know that robodialers are illegal in California, even for political calls? Read it at the Public Utilities Code: http://law.justia.com/california/codes/puc/2871-2876.html. The useless Public Utilities Commission hasn't enforced it, and they won't until enough of us complain.
(3) Dump your landline and use your cellular, and don't put your telephone number on your voter registration.
(4) Explore sites like http://www.whocalled.us, http://www.callferret.com, and http://800notes.com. With Caller ID, you can publicly share information about callers who use these tactics, avoid them, and publicly expose them.
(5) Let candidates know you hate the practice and are fed up. They'll continue using the robodialers until we make them understand how much we hate it.
Spread the word. The revolution is on, and this is just a small part of it.